On the way to a better me
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Insecurities.....
We all have them, some a few, some many and about all sorts of things. I have a few my main one, besides the vain ones is losing friends. No matter how much I weigh, or how I look this will always be an insecurity. I'm a nice person, people often say too nice. I don't think I'm too nice, I'm just me, I can't turn it off. Well I guess I could if I really, really tried hard, but it's me and it would mean changing who I am. I do reign myself in sometimes when I feel I going a bit overboard, I've had people use my niceness to THEIR advantage and then toss me aside when they feel I no longer have a purpose, however I've also lost people by scaring them off by being nice, seems sometimes I cannot find that happy medium. I hope someone knows what I'm talking about, I don't want to sound like a complete nut. I find it hard to get past that an unanswered text/e-mail/facebook messgae etc doesn't mean that I've said something I shouldn't have or been OTT or maybe they've just stopped liking me. I search through what I may have said etc and I tell myself that they're probably just busy or they forgot etc but my brain never goes there first. Something I definitely need to work on, I don't think I'm currently friends with anyone who would just drop me like a hot potato, but that insecurity is back there still and honestly it probably always will be but I think I can train my brain to possibly not to go the extreme first and think that maybe they just might be busy and or they forgot :D
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I'm just me, I can't turn it off
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY. The large majority of people you meet will accept that. Some people don't. Some people are cunts. Unfortunately, these stick in our head, and yell the loudest when we're down.
Not everyone gets along with everyone else. Some people just have clashing personalities. Some people are not happy unless they are constantly criticising other people, and even those, surprisingly, have friends who accept 'that's just who they are'. Some people are just nice and others don't know how to accept that.
Either way, it's highly unlikely that people just dislike you. If you don't hit it off, or if they fade away, it could be for a variety of reasons, rather than who you are. Just like when they don't respond to your text message.
Anyway, I like you. What more do you need? ;)
I have just found your blog through Jane andw hen I read this post it really touched me because I too can be really sensitive and wonder what I have done wrong if an sms/FB entry/phone call goes unanswered. This is a link to a poem that I read once upon a time and which I go back to quite often when I am feeling like I must have done something wrong because I haven't heard from someone.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.reverbnation.com/artist/song_details/5951010
Hi Me, that sounds weird, lol. Thank you for that, it's true people do come into our lives for a season, I find it sad still that that's the case, but I guess we can't always be friends with people because we all change and evolve etc.
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