On the way to a better me

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


A different kind of post today because if I don't I might spontaneously combust. I'm feeling quite low right now, it's hard to be the one that's up all the time you know? The holidays were long, hard and exhausting and I'm at the end of my rope. I'm tired of kids fighting, I'm tired of the girls hurting one another, I'm sick of hearing "muuuuuum", I'm sick of dealing with kids fighting/wanting me to open food/pour drinks/tell them they look good in their clothes whilst I'm in the shower/toilet, I'm tired of picking up everyone's shit, I'm tired of housework, I'm tired of days blurring into one another, I'm tired of not knowing where my life is going, I'm tired of feeling inadequate, I'm tired of worrying that my husband might leave me because of my inadequacy, I'm tired of worrying about losing friends because I'm not good enough to be their friend, I'm tired of feeling like I shouldn't like things because someone has a problem with those things, I'm tired of thinking things won't change, I'm tired of my brain telling me these stupid things to be tired of, I'm tired of feeling stagnate I'm just TIRED.

And I worry about writing this post and posting it because I don't want to bring others down and make them sad, but sometimes I have to let it out. And I hope by writing this post and getting it out that it will help me feel better.

And I'm not writing this for sympathy, or for you to judge me, or so you'll tell me how great I am or whatever nasty people will conjure up in their stupid heads, I'm writing this because I NEED to and this is MY blog.

I'm also sick of nasty people and their crap, and I will never understand their need to be nasty.

 And in closing:

I like One Direction and would like to be BFFs with them because they look like they have lots of fun.

I like the song Blurred Lines

Ryan Gosling isn't good looking

Anchovies are gross

Cheese Twisties are the best

I don't like Subway

You don't have to comment and my feeling will pass xx