what is it? I've been pondering this on and off and this is an on time and I still haven't got the answer. A lot of people I know do wonderful things, exciting things, important things, interesting things, and then there's me, who doesn't really do anything. I sometimes feel like I'm just a blob, just a blip in the world. I know I'm a daughter, a wife, a mother and a friend and those are important things but should I be more than that? And what makes these wonderful, exciting, important and interesting (and really smart) people want to be my friends?
I guess I'm feeling in limbo, there's not much I can do with 2 little ones still at home, but I'm feeling a little stuck. Same with my weight loss, that's in limbo too, I keep getting sick and working out and being sick don't really go well together unfortunately. I know I'll get back into it but I hate feeling helpless and being idle. I'm trying, but I can try much harder, which I will try to do once I'm better.
Gah! I don't know why I'm making this post, I guess it's better out than in, to help me get some clarity? I just feel at such a stand still, not going forward, not going backward, just still. I have grand plans for my future but will they always just be grand plans? I have no idea how to really do anything, I can be me, that's it, but I don't think I'll ever be satisfied just being me, I feel like it's not enough. But I'm worried that if I do try and put my grand plans into action that I'll fail at them and be back where I am now, and I don't know which would be worse, trying and failing or never trying at all. And what if I can never afford to do what I want to do, what then?
Blah, I guess I'll ponder some more and see what I can come up with. If I figure it out, I'll let you know. If you've read this, thank you, you need not respond, I think this is more a post for me than it is for you :-D