On the way to a better me

Thursday, May 3, 2012

My Purpose.....

what is it? I've been pondering this on and off and this is an on time and I still haven't got the answer. A lot of people I know do wonderful things, exciting things, important things, interesting things, and then there's me, who doesn't really do anything. I sometimes feel like I'm just a blob, just a blip in the world. I know I'm a daughter, a wife, a mother and a friend and those are important things but should I be more than that? And what makes these wonderful, exciting, important and interesting (and really smart) people want to be my friends?

I guess I'm feeling in limbo, there's not much I can do with 2 little ones still at home, but I'm feeling a little stuck. Same with my weight loss, that's in limbo too, I keep getting sick and working out and being sick don't really go well together unfortunately. I know I'll get back into it but I hate feeling helpless and being idle. I'm trying, but I can try much harder, which I will try to do once I'm better.

Gah! I don't know why I'm making this post, I guess it's better out than in, to help me get some clarity? I just feel at such a stand still, not going forward, not going backward, just still. I have grand plans for my future but will they always just be grand plans? I have no idea how to really do anything, I can be me, that's it, but I don't think I'll ever be satisfied just being me, I feel like it's not enough. But I'm worried that if I do try and put my grand plans into action that I'll fail at them and be back where I am now, and I don't know which would be worse, trying and failing or never trying at all. And what if I can never afford to do what I want to do, what then?

Blah, I guess I'll ponder some more and see what I can come up with. If I figure it out, I'll let you know. If you've read this, thank you, you need not respond, I think this is more a post for me than it is for you :-D


  1. I feel like this a lot, and often. In fact I was contemplating writing a blog post of my own about wasted potential just this morning. I feel like there's so much I should have done, could be doing. What we both have to remember is that we are raising kids and there is nothing in the world more important than that. No matter how much we both want to be more than "just a mum", our greatest successes and proudest achievements will be raising kids that are intelligent, kind, empathetic, funny and brave.

    It's good to have plans but try to keep them as flexible and fluid as possible and remember that everything in life happens for a reason xxx

    1. Ah Bec, you bring so much love & joy to the world - that is a precious gift to all of us. Anything you do on top of that is just icing. If you try your grand plans & fail, you go back to "just" being a wonderful person who adds so much to the lives of all your friends xo

  2. Hi Bec - hmmmm you are not alone with your thoughts. I am always thinking about what I can do, what I can afford and what my purpose is??? I think you have to try and not worry about failing, if one of your kids came to you and was worried about failing I know you would encourage them and support them in anyway to make sure they tried. So with that said treat yourself like that, push yourself and know that people support you and if you fail people are there for you. What are some things you are interested in doing? Ever thought of studying online? Anyway chin up - remember you just being you is awesome!! Bec xx

  3. Bec you are so many wonderful things to many, just be YOU,because You are wonderful, but I can relate to what you say, we should make it a purpose to catch up soon Nx