It has begun

So, I haven't been indecisive, I have actually done what I said I would do, today I signed up to Weight Watchers, I tracked all my meals and I have had lots of water to drink. It'll take some time to get back into the swing of things, but I've made a good start.

I've picked Friday's to be my weigh in day, and I'll be on the look out for new healthy and yummy recipes, I hate getting stuck in a rut with food and eating all the same stuff all the time. So what's the damage you ask? It's not too bad, not as bad as I was expecting, I weighed in at 96kgs, which is still under 100kgs which I'm happy about, not happy that I've put on 4kgs since I last weighed in, but never mind, it will come off again.

Tomorrow is grocery day and I will be arming myself with lots of yummy things for myself to eat for various meals, so I don't get bored and can keep things varied. I've pulled out all my exercise stuff and will get started on that ASAP, slowly though as not to injure my back again. I'll probably start of with pilates, the yoga part on my Wii Fit, and walking on the treadmill, will work up to other things as I feel  my back getting better.

I'm determined to make this my last journey with Weight Watchers, hopefully this will get me to my goal and have me feeling great and get me to the point where I'll be able to just maintain, fingers crossed anyway. At least if I feel myself losing control again, Weight Watchers will always be there for me to fall back on, I'm hoping to not need it though. I'm hoping that I won't fall into a hole again and totally lose my mojo, my back being so sore didn't help, hopefully that won't occur again, fingers and toes crossed.

So, that is where I'm at on day 1.

I am the Queen of indecisiveness

Hello! So I thought I'd better blog again because true to form I have changed my mind about things. I have decided to once again join Weight Watchers. I'm hoping that this will help me find my mojo again and make me feel much happier, I was happier when I was actively losing weight and I want to feel that feeling again. I'm signing up again tomorrow and I am not looking forward to weighing in, but I know I have to. But I'm sick of being stuck in this rut, it's time to get out and hopefully by Christmas time I will be back into the swing of things and looking and feeling FINE. I need to do things for myself again, I'm starting to not like myself again and it's time to change this. I think I will go back to the little rewards as I hit each goal, that helped my motivation and made me feel good.

I know some people think I should be happy with how I am, but I'm not and it's time to change. I hope that once again you'll all support me and help me along on this second half of my journey, fingers crossed this will be all it takes for me to get to my goal and be happy with ME.

So tomorrow we get started, wish me luck :D

Good news!

I'm back and I bring good news about my back. After my last visit to the Chiropractor I was basically in the same amount of pain I was when I first walked in there, which is NOT a good thing seeing as I had been lots of times and had to pay $60 for about 5 mins of "treatment". So I decided to go and see a lovely man who is housemates with a friend of mine and is a masseur and OMG BEST DECISION EVER. I am seriously considering becoming a man and marrying him because he made my back SOOOOOOOOO much better and it has been that way for weeks now. The Chiro made it feel better sometimes but it was never as long lasting as this. I am bend down, roll over in bed, put the girls seat belts on etc, all WITHOUT gasping in pain. I still get a little bit of pain, but I'm hoping that will ease with more massages, I've only had one so far which is amazing and I can't wait until I have more. I even got on the treadmill which I haven't been able to do for sooooooooo long. So this has me excited and will hopefully help me to get back on track in the not too distant future.

For now here is the most current picture of me that I took today :D

Hoping to have more good news next time :D

*sigh*

Hello Folks,

It's been a while huh? Sorry about that. I have come to the conclusion that I am stuck in a rut and am unsure about what to do about it. I am the Queen of indecisiveness (which I know drives my husband insane), and I do get myself into a pickle with not knowing what to do with myself. I am so not where I want to be and I just don't know how to get myself there. My back still hurts which doesn't help, but I have just been given exercises to start doing which does make me feel a bit better about things, not being able to exercise at all hasn't helped where I am. I decided against doing Weight Watchers again (see indecisive) because I felt too guilty about spending the money on myself (this is what I do) especially seeing as I really do know what to do, I just have to make myself do it. I'm struggling to find my motivation, especially the motivation to walk, walking is soooooooo boring, bring on the warmer weather when I can take the kids out walking and to the playground.

So here I sit, not knowing how much I weigh because I'm too scared to get on the scales to see how much I actually weigh (I don't think I have put on a lot, but I doubt I have lost any) and in a pickle about what to do and how to get my motivation back and how to get my back to stop hurting (I'm pretty sure I just have to keep going to my chiro) and get myself to where I want to be. I'm so frustrated I can't even begin to tell you how much and also disappointed, so very disappointed, if only I could just wave a magic wand *sigh*

So hopefully I will figure all of this stuff out and can get myself to my goal. Am looking forward to warmer weather because warmer weather means salads and I do love a good salad, and don't you dare say " You don't make friends with salad" or else I will come over there and beat you with a big stick.

Here I am again

I'm back, sorry, sorry, sorry. My how things have happened, I finally got my back seen to because I was in lots of pain all the time so I thought I should do something about it. Anyway I found out I have not one but two bulging discs in my back :( so it was no wonder really. My dr referred me to a Chiropractor which I have been seeing for a couple of weeks now, and oh my I love her so. It's feeling much better, although not at the moment because I was naughty and cleaned the shower and vacuumed the floor the other day, but things need to be done, but still, I shouldn't have because I hurt myself :( so, lesson learnt. Unfortunately with my back like this it means no running :( and no other form of exercise apart from walking :( So with this in mind I have decided that I will join Weight Watchers again, for a tighter reign on my eating seeing as I can't do any vigorous exercise to burn calories. I've put on a couple of kgs which I'm fine with seeing as I can't exercise as I want/need to and have been lazy with my eating, hence re-joining WW. I've also been sick with quite a terrible cold and have therefore been taking it more easy than usual, so I'm hoping that will sod off soon so I can start feeling better. We are off on holiday soon, to Sydney for a bit over a week and 3 days in QLD (I'm hoping it will be nice and sunny so I can defrost, catch some sun, thus making me feel better).

I'd like to now address an issue that quite upset me. Someone commented on one of my blog posts (I removed it) saying that I was "incredibly ugly", fair enough that people don't find me attractive, not everyone has the same taste, but to actually tell me was unwarranted and very nasty. I'm not a model and I'm not asking for critique, you're entitled to your opinion of course but please consider people's feelings before posting such comments, clearly this person did not, and I doubt that they were someone that loves and supports me and my journey, so poo to them.

So this is where I am at, not where I want to be of course but I'll have to lump it until I am able to move forward. If you read this, thank you for reading :D

My Purpose.....

what is it? I've been pondering this on and off and this is an on time and I still haven't got the answer. A lot of people I know do wonderful things, exciting things, important things, interesting things, and then there's me, who doesn't really do anything. I sometimes feel like I'm just a blob, just a blip in the world. I know I'm a daughter, a wife, a mother and a friend and those are important things but should I be more than that? And what makes these wonderful, exciting, important and interesting (and really smart) people want to be my friends?

I guess I'm feeling in limbo, there's not much I can do with 2 little ones still at home, but I'm feeling a little stuck. Same with my weight loss, that's in limbo too, I keep getting sick and working out and being sick don't really go well together unfortunately. I know I'll get back into it but I hate feeling helpless and being idle. I'm trying, but I can try much harder, which I will try to do once I'm better.

Gah! I don't know why I'm making this post, I guess it's better out than in, to help me get some clarity? I just feel at such a stand still, not going forward, not going backward, just still. I have grand plans for my future but will they always just be grand plans? I have no idea how to really do anything, I can be me, that's it, but I don't think I'll ever be satisfied just being me, I feel like it's not enough. But I'm worried that if I do try and put my grand plans into action that I'll fail at them and be back where I am now, and I don't know which would be worse, trying and failing or never trying at all. And what if I can never afford to do what I want to do, what then?

Blah, I guess I'll ponder some more and see what I can come up with. If I figure it out, I'll let you know. If you've read this, thank you, you need not respond, I think this is more a post for me than it is for you :-D

Time for some photos

Hi All

You want to see photos right? Because I'm going to put some, so I hope you do.

Before hair

After hair

Comparison June 2010/March 2012

New Clothes

Wearing the beanie

Ok, so there you have them, and I'm glad to see that seeing as I haven't been working as hard as I was going to that I haven't stacked on the weight, only a little bit, but still I know I have to work harder. I have come to realise now that I have started this journey, this will just be a way of life, sometimes I'll work harder at all of this sometimes I won't. Sometimes I'll gain weight, sometimes I'll lost it, sometimes I'll stay the same. It's just my way of life now, sometimes it's easier, sometimes it's not, but that's just life in a nut shell isn't it?